That distinction is enormous when AI billionaires are accumulating unprecedented fortunes while simultaneously seeking influence over the rules governing their own industry.

The Wall Street Journal apparently needs a team of Ivy League linguists to decipher a sentence any third-grader could understand.

Elon Musk promises to give every American child a SpaceX share, and the Journal immediately starts scratching its collective head. Who gets the shares? When? How will they be distributed?

Who gets them? Every American kid, you blithering idiots. He even said “next year.” Apparently, reading comprehension now requires a congressional appropriation.

Meanwhile, Anthropic proposes putting 5% of its shares into a company-controlled “public benefit fund,” and suddenly the Journal’s investigative curiosity takes a fucking vacation.

Who controls the money? Which organizations receive it? What political causes might benefit? How much discretion will Anthropic retain over billions supposedly dedicated to the public good?

Those questions apparently weren’t worth the same breathless interrogation.

And here’s where the absurdity becomes downright insulting.

Musk’s proposal would put ownership directly into American families’ hands. Anthropic’s proposal leaves decisions about distributing its charitable wealth inside a corporate-controlled structure whose ultimate beneficiaries remain unidentified.

That distinction is enormous when AI billionaires are accumulating unprecedented fortunes while simultaneously seeking influence over the rules governing their own industry.

Yet somehow the financial press finds the mechanics of giving children stock more perplexing than the prospect of corporate executives deciding which nonprofits and causes deserve billions.

What an astonishing collection of credentialed jackasses.

The institution supposedly dedicated to following the money gets distracted by the straightforward promise while barely scratching the surface of the complicated financial arrangement.

Apparently, American journalism now requires a translator to understand Elon Musk saying “every kid in America,” but becomes miraculously fluent in corporate doublespeak the moment the right billionaires start talking. (article below)

— Flopping Aces (@FloppingAces) October 25, 2026